You have taken the first step and have reached out to a domestic law firm, what can you expect now?   Depending on the size of the firm you are contacting, the voice on the other end of the phone can either be a receptionist, paralegal, legal assistant or an attorney.

The first question you can expect to be asked is your name and the name of the other person involved (spouse, girl friend, former spouse, etc) or any other parties involved in your situation.

We have had clients call in and not want to give us this information; however, this information is vital in determining if we have any conflicts that would prohibit the firm from assisting you.

Once it is determined that there are no conflicts, the next step will be getting details of your situation.  During your first phone call you can expect to be asked a good number of questions about your current situation.  The person on the other end of the phone is not being nosy; they are just doing their job.  They need to be thorough and get as much information from you as possible so that the attorney has some background on your situation prior to the first meeting.

Hopefully, the person will be interested in what you are saying and not trying to do three other tasks while on the phone with you.  Remember this first phone call is a two-way street. Do you like the person on the phone? Does this sound like the type of person you would like to speak with on a regular basis? Realistically, you could be talking to this person quite frequently, so make sure you feel comfortable with this person.

Once the information is gathered, and you feel comfortable with the person on the other end of the phone, an appointment will be set up with an attorney. The person should make sure that you understand the cost, length of time for the meeting, location of the appointment, etc. You will undoubtedly have a great deal of legal questions, but this person cannot (and should not) answer your legal questions.

At Frye Law Offices, we pride ourselves on having an amazing support staff. Clients have always told us that our staff has been professional, empathetic, and effective. From the first moment you contact our firm, you will experience the knowledge, experience and personal attention you need.

If you feel that our firm can help you, please give us a call at 919.846.8807.

**Written by FLO Office Manager, Christine Universal**

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The prospect of a divorce generally brings a range of emotions to people. Some people are happy, some are scared, and some are ready to get married again! In my last two posts, I have discussed the significance of finding out if you are actually divorced or not, and the potential problems in quickie divorces from other countries. Now, I want to address what rights you lose upon a divorce so that you understand the significance of

If you or your spouse have a claim for spousal support from the other or a claim for the property/debt of the marriage to be divided, it is imperative that you be careful in your pursuit of a divorce. In North Carolina, claims for spousal support and property division (aka equitable distribution) are LOST upon the entry of your divorce. These claims are lost unless one of you has filed a claim for either of these items. If you have, either in the divorce action or in a separate action, your right to pursue these claims is preserved for further disposition by the Court. If you have not, these claims are lost and gone forever.

Property and spousal support claims are generally the most significant rights I detail to clients when a party is considering a divorce filing; however, there are other rights or benefits of marriage that are dissolved upon the entry of divorce. Other significant ones are rights to inherit or administer the estate of your spouse and the right or obligation of the other spouse to provide you (or be liable to a hospital for) medically necessary expenses.

Divorce really does change everything, so it is important not to rush into filing for divorce until you or your client are sure that everything else is in good shape regarding the ending of the marriage. It is better to be safe than sorry . . . . .

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In my previous post, I addressed the necessity for having actual, tangible proof of your divorce or your client’s divorce. Yes, it may seem silly, but as my last post addressed, having your marital status wrong can have a tremendous impact on future issues.

Let’s go to the next step and suppose that your client or your “former” spouse hands you a divorce decree from the Bahamas for example. Well, you have a decree, so you should be ok, right? Well, no, it’s not that simple.

Generally, North Carolina will recognize foreign divorces so long as the following basic requirements are met: (1) both sides were provided adequate notice, and (2) one of the parties was a resident of the foreign country/state at the time. In my scenario above, you first need to determine if these criteria were met before you start checking the “single” box on documents.

I often see situations where someone decides to go down to the Caribbean, for example, and obtain a divorce while they are also on a vacation. Although admittedly, this is convenient, that scenario is a problem. If you are on a vacation, you are not a resident of that state or country, so you do not obtain the benefits of that location. Besides the Caribbean, I have also been asked about someone obtaining a quick divorce in another state. Again the same rules apply.

For further research, I discovered that the U.S. State Department has a information available on their website titled “Divorce Abroad,” which is quite a helpful place to start. The link is as follows: http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/divorce/divorce_592.html

Remember that trying to short the divorce requirements can have a detrimental impact on you and/or your client. When you receive a foreign divorce decree, be sure to take a few extra steps to make sure it is valid. Nothing is worse than finding out that your client is not divorced . . . and thus not remarried just a week before a custody trial. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Now that I have covered the topic of the validity of a divorce, I will turn to why it matters if someone is divorced or not by an examination of the rights lost upon divorce.

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Often we have clients walk into our office assuring us of many things as the truth, and often we believe them on the small things. Of course, when it comes to specific facts related to why they arrived in our office, we will turn a close eye, which is a result of our very nature as attorneys. But, shouldn’t we be careful about some of the “smaller” stuff too?

When clients say they are divorced, why should we believe that statement? Recently Lawyer’s Weekly ran an article about a guy who thought his first wife had obtained the divorced, so he decided to remarry . . . in another county. Later he plans to bring his “wife” back to the US and apply for citizenship for her based on wife status. Well, low and behold, wife had never really finalized that divorce, so new “wife” wasn’t wife at all.  The downside is that now he has huge set of problems, which are not going to be easy to remedy. The article is written in a manner to evoke sympathy for this guy, but really should we feel sorry for someone who doesn’t even know if he is divorced or not? Is someone’s marital status part of the “smaller” stuff?

So, how do we know for sure? For once, this answer is simple: obtain the certified divorce decree. Do not rely on what someone told you; just get the document. Every person who is divorced should retain a copy of this decree. If they do not have it, make sure they obtain a copy from the appropriate clerk of court.

A party’s divorce has a multitude of ramifications on these individuals’ rights and obligations. In a domestic context, upon divorce both sides’ rights to equitable distribution and alimony are lost unless preserved. Divorce can change someone’s ability to inherit, your responsibility for medical expenses, your tax filing status, ability to remarry, and many more substantial rights and obligations.

It is important to know if your client is divorced or not. As you begin your representation, ask the client to bring in proof of the divorce if any steps in your representation rely on marital status or the availability of any results would change if the person were married. For once in our world, something is simple . . . just bring in the proof.

Well, maybe it’s not that simple, but I will address the proof and validity of divorces (particularly the common foreign divorce) in the next post . . . .

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One of the most common questions I am asked, as a divorce lawyer is when am I separated? The factual scenario generally presented to me is the following: My wife and I have been having problems for years. About three months ago, I moved into the downstairs bedroom. Are we separated?

No.

I must say that I love it when the answers are simple. In family law, the answers are rarely that simple, so I am glad when I can answer in a definitive fashion.

In 1962, the Supreme Court of North Carolina answered that question in Richardson (257 NC 1962). Likewise, cessation of sexual relations does not constitute a separation. The only way to separate in North Carolina is to live in two separate residences.

In North Carolina, you must be separated for a full year before either party can file for divorce. Be careful because a “full year” means that if you separate on December 1, 2010, you can file for divorce on December 2, 2011. You cannot file on December 1. If you file a day early, that mistake cannot be cured. Meaning that if you file early, you have to dismiss your action and refile the action, which is just not the kind of pain that you want at this point.

If you have questions about whether or not you are separated, please contact our office. Our firm is experienced with divorce litigation and providing you the knowledge, experience, and personal attention at the time you need it most.

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NC Law Blog is an online legal magazine by and for North Carolina lawyers. It is sponsored by the North Carolina Bar Association Center for Practice Management. The mastermind behind this blog is Erik Mazzone who helps lawyers learn how to run a law firm, which is NOT something we are taught in law school.

Recently, I began writing for the NC Law Blog (www.nclawblog.com). I say “recent” but I believe I have been contributing for about three or four months.

Generally my posts related to family law; however, the blog covers all aspects of NC law. Most of the authors have years of experience in his or her respective legal field. It is an interesting collection of information for attorneys and non-attorneys.

As I sit here typing up my submission for this month, I wanted to highlight this great resource. In the future, I will start reposting some of my blogs from this blog; however, I encourage everyone to check out this interesting and helpful resource.

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The final installment in a series of blog posts on options for client’s when the money runs low.

Q.  Are there any other options available to me when the money is about to run out?

A.  Not that we’ve been able to discover.  If there are no funds available through interim distribution, then the client ordinarily selects the Clean Break Option and consents to the withdrawal of the attorney from the case.  If there is sufficient money left, we can always assist on the side with the Coaching Option.  If the client is willing to make major concessions in order to finish the case, then we can attempt to negotiate a settlement through the Quick Conclusion Option.

■■■

Thank you to the Law Offices of Mark E. Sullivan for sharing this with our firm!

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Part 5 of a series of blog posts on options for clients going through a divorce and running low on funds. Previously, the Quick Conclusion Option was addressed, and now for some issues with this option.

Q.  Can it get complicated?

A.  Yes, it can – either when there are multiple issues at stake or when the issues are few but complex.  It can also be difficult when the client is very attached to a particular outcome, such as

• First Example: Sally wants the house, but her husband, Bert, demands that it be put on the market and sold immediately so that he can pull out his one-half share of the money and use it to buy a new home.  Unless Sally has the financial resources to refinance the house, there is NO simple answer, which will come close to pleasing both sides.  Someone will have to back down!  If your funds are about to dry up, then you will probably have to be the one to give in and allow the other side what he or she wants.

• Second Example: Bert demands joint and equal custody of the child, Johnnie.  Sally is adamantly opposed to this.  “He doesn’t deserve it” is her first response.  “He didn’t lift a finger to help with caring for our son during the marriage, and he shouldn’t be rewarded now, after the separation, when he’s finally decided to step up to the plate and be a good dad.”  In addition, Sally feels strongly that it will be confusing and harmful for Johnnie to spend half of every week or every month in two different homes.  Bert is just as insistent that they ought to give it a try, and that it will be the best solution for Johnnie, who can have two involved parents instead of just one.  Once again, there’s no good answer to this.  You cannot make both parties happy with any solution that is proposed. Someone will have to sacrifice.  If you’re coming to the end of the funds, then that will probably be you.

Q.  But that’s just awful.  That’s not fair.  Why should I have to give in?

A.  That’s the main problem with the Quick Conclusion Option – it often involves a “quick and dirty” solution to a complex problem, and that usually requires that the one who is out of money – our client – make sacrificial concessions to obtain an end to the dispute.

Q.  Are there other problems with the Quick Conclusion Option?

A.  Yes – there are several -

• First of all, there must be enough money in the till to enable your attorney to conduct the negotiations to quickly wind down the dispute.  This is, unfortunately, neither easy nor fast.  Once the other side realizes that you are desperate, it’ll be like a shark that smells blood in the water.  The other side will realize that the longer it’s dragged out, the better chance for more sacrifices by you!  Rather than proceeding to a quick resolution, sometimes this approach just winds up prolonging the dispute and placing other demands for concessions on the table.

• We often need to hire a mediator to bring the parties together and bring the case to a conclusion.  That can be very beneficial in “attitude adjustment” for the parties, in calming them down, and in pushing them and nudging them to a conclusion that is quick and complete, even though they might feel it is a “cut and run” solution which is totally unfair.  However, engaging a mediator takes time and costs money.

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Part 4 in a series about options for client’s in divorce when the money runs low . . .

Q.  But you don’t understand!  I just want my case over with!  I want it done.  I don’t want to be in court any more, and I definitely don’t want a “do-it-yourself” solution.

A.  Well, the final option that we could discuss is called the Quick Conclusion Option.

Q.  How does the Quick Conclusion Option work?

A.  When there are sufficient funds in the account (and we’re not talking about only $1,000!), then the firm can try – and the emphasis is on TRY – to get the other side to agree to a quick settlement of the outstanding issues.

Q.  OK – tell me more.  It sounds simple and easy!

A.  It can be relatively easy if there is only one issue on the table, such as a motion for increased visitation.  Whether you’re asking for it or resisting it, there are probably some compromises, which can be worked out.  We’ve learned that it’s a lot easier if both of the parties meet at the same time (but not necessarily in the same room) to work things out and to print and sign a settlement, whether it’s an amendment to the separation agreement or a consent order for the judge.

The next post will cover the complications of this option . . .

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Part 3 of a series on what client’s options are when the money runs low during a divorce . . .

Q.  Well, let’s talk about other options.  My account has at least $5,000 in it.  Can’t we see if there are ways that I can get some help from the firm, but not at the “full-bore” litigation rate?

A.  Yes, there’s another way that the firm could help by withdrawing from the litigation case and then helping you “on the sidelines.”  This might be called the Coaching Option.

Q.  How does the Coaching Option work?

A.  Once we’re “off the case” (no longer appearing as your attorney of record in the litigation), we can assist by providing you information on how you can handle the case yourself.  For example, we can -

• Advise on responding to motions that the other side files
• Suggest ways to obtain information (such as documents) from the other side through a “document request”
• Tell you what to do when the other side serves interrogatories on you, demanding that you reply with the answers under oath
• Give you information on how to conduct a hearing or trial
• Outline the questions you might want to serve as interrogatories on the other side
• Provide information on what to do if the other side refuses to answer your questions or turn over documents
• Give you advice on what the law requires and how the courts operate, especially regarding the Local Rules for Wake County, which have extensive requirements for disclosure of documents and production of information in financial cases.

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