Often we have clients walk into our office assuring us of many things as the truth, and often we believe them on the small things. Of course, when it comes to specific facts related to why they arrived in our office, we will turn a close eye, which is a result of our very nature as attorneys. But, shouldn’t we be careful about some of the “smaller” stuff too?

When clients say they are divorced, why should we believe that statement? Recently Lawyer’s Weekly ran an article about a guy who thought his first wife had obtained the divorced, so he decided to remarry . . . in another county. Later he plans to bring his “wife” back to the US and apply for citizenship for her based on wife status. Well, low and behold, wife had never really finalized that divorce, so new “wife” wasn’t wife at all.  The downside is that now he has huge set of problems, which are not going to be easy to remedy. The article is written in a manner to evoke sympathy for this guy, but really should we feel sorry for someone who doesn’t even know if he is divorced or not? Is someone’s marital status part of the “smaller” stuff?

So, how do we know for sure? For once, this answer is simple: obtain the certified divorce decree. Do not rely on what someone told you; just get the document. Every person who is divorced should retain a copy of this decree. If they do not have it, make sure they obtain a copy from the appropriate clerk of court.

A party’s divorce has a multitude of ramifications on these individuals’ rights and obligations. In a domestic context, upon divorce both sides’ rights to equitable distribution and alimony are lost unless preserved. Divorce can change someone’s ability to inherit, your responsibility for medical expenses, your tax filing status, ability to remarry, and many more substantial rights and obligations.

It is important to know if your client is divorced or not. As you begin your representation, ask the client to bring in proof of the divorce if any steps in your representation rely on marital status or the availability of any results would change if the person were married. For once in our world, something is simple . . . just bring in the proof.

Well, maybe it’s not that simple, but I will address the proof and validity of divorces (particularly the common foreign divorce) in the next post . . . .

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One of the most common questions I am asked, as a divorce lawyer is when am I separated? The factual scenario generally presented to me is the following: My wife and I have been having problems for years. About three months ago, I moved into the downstairs bedroom. Are we separated?

No.

I must say that I love it when the answers are simple. In family law, the answers are rarely that simple, so I am glad when I can answer in a definitive fashion.

In 1962, the Supreme Court of North Carolina answered that question in Richardson (257 NC 1962). Likewise, cessation of sexual relations does not constitute a separation. The only way to separate in North Carolina is to live in two separate residences.

In North Carolina, you must be separated for a full year before either party can file for divorce. Be careful because a “full year” means that if you separate on December 1, 2010, you can file for divorce on December 2, 2011. You cannot file on December 1. If you file a day early, that mistake cannot be cured. Meaning that if you file early, you have to dismiss your action and refile the action, which is just not the kind of pain that you want at this point.

If you have questions about whether or not you are separated, please contact our office. Our firm is experienced with divorce litigation and providing you the knowledge, experience, and personal attention at the time you need it most.

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So you’ve waited weeks (maybe months) and finally, your attorney tells you that the judge has made a decision. You’re excited; ready to follow the judge’s order. Or maybe you hate it, and don’t want to follow it. You want to appeal immediately Well, hold on . . . the judge giving his or her decision is only part of it.

One attorney is responsible for writing the order; the other attorney has to comment; and the judge has to decide what changes need to be made before signing the final order. That sounds simple, but that process could easily take a month or longer. I once had it take eight (8) months.

Just keep in mind that you want the order to address as many issues and scenarios as possible. Many times it takes some time to consider appeal issues. There are more issues than just typing up the judge’s order that need to be considered. My suggestion is to be patient while your attorney drafts the orders and be involved in that process by considering potential problems in the order.

If you want to appeal the order, keep in mind that in North Carolina the time for filing a notice of appeal does not begin until the order is signed by the judge and file-stamped.

Just keep in mind that just like everything else this too is a process, and one of the most important ones.

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