The prospect of a divorce generally brings a range of emotions to people. Some people are happy, some are scared, and some are ready to get married again! In my last two posts, I have discussed the significance of finding out if you are actually divorced or not, and the potential problems in quickie divorces from other countries. Now, I want to address what rights you lose upon a divorce so that you understand the significance of

If you or your spouse have a claim for spousal support from the other or a claim for the property/debt of the marriage to be divided, it is imperative that you be careful in your pursuit of a divorce. In North Carolina, claims for spousal support and property division (aka equitable distribution) are LOST upon the entry of your divorce. These claims are lost unless one of you has filed a claim for either of these items. If you have, either in the divorce action or in a separate action, your right to pursue these claims is preserved for further disposition by the Court. If you have not, these claims are lost and gone forever.

Property and spousal support claims are generally the most significant rights I detail to clients when a party is considering a divorce filing; however, there are other rights or benefits of marriage that are dissolved upon the entry of divorce. Other significant ones are rights to inherit or administer the estate of your spouse and the right or obligation of the other spouse to provide you (or be liable to a hospital for) medically necessary expenses.

Divorce really does change everything, so it is important not to rush into filing for divorce until you or your client are sure that everything else is in good shape regarding the ending of the marriage. It is better to be safe than sorry . . . . .

News attorney, attorneys, conflict in divorce, cost of divorce, divorce, effects of divorce, effects of divorce NC, family law, family law attorney, NC divorce, nc north raleigh divorce, raleigh divorce lawyer, Wake county, wake county family law

In my previous post, I addressed the necessity for having actual, tangible proof of your divorce or your client’s divorce. Yes, it may seem silly, but as my last post addressed, having your marital status wrong can have a tremendous impact on future issues.

Let’s go to the next step and suppose that your client or your “former” spouse hands you a divorce decree from the Bahamas for example. Well, you have a decree, so you should be ok, right? Well, no, it’s not that simple.

Generally, North Carolina will recognize foreign divorces so long as the following basic requirements are met: (1) both sides were provided adequate notice, and (2) one of the parties was a resident of the foreign country/state at the time. In my scenario above, you first need to determine if these criteria were met before you start checking the “single” box on documents.

I often see situations where someone decides to go down to the Caribbean, for example, and obtain a divorce while they are also on a vacation. Although admittedly, this is convenient, that scenario is a problem. If you are on a vacation, you are not a resident of that state or country, so you do not obtain the benefits of that location. Besides the Caribbean, I have also been asked about someone obtaining a quick divorce in another state. Again the same rules apply.

For further research, I discovered that the U.S. State Department has a information available on their website titled “Divorce Abroad,” which is quite a helpful place to start. The link is as follows: http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/divorce/divorce_592.html

Remember that trying to short the divorce requirements can have a detrimental impact on you and/or your client. When you receive a foreign divorce decree, be sure to take a few extra steps to make sure it is valid. Nothing is worse than finding out that your client is not divorced . . . and thus not remarried just a week before a custody trial. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Now that I have covered the topic of the validity of a divorce, I will turn to why it matters if someone is divorced or not by an examination of the rights lost upon divorce.

News attorney, attorneys, conflict in divorce, cost of divorce, divorce, family law, family law attorney, foreign divorce, nc north raleigh divorce, raleigh divorce lawyer, Wake County divorce, wake county family law

Often we have clients walk into our office assuring us of many things as the truth, and often we believe them on the small things. Of course, when it comes to specific facts related to why they arrived in our office, we will turn a close eye, which is a result of our very nature as attorneys. But, shouldn’t we be careful about some of the “smaller” stuff too?

When clients say they are divorced, why should we believe that statement? Recently Lawyer’s Weekly ran an article about a guy who thought his first wife had obtained the divorced, so he decided to remarry . . . in another county. Later he plans to bring his “wife” back to the US and apply for citizenship for her based on wife status. Well, low and behold, wife had never really finalized that divorce, so new “wife” wasn’t wife at all.  The downside is that now he has huge set of problems, which are not going to be easy to remedy. The article is written in a manner to evoke sympathy for this guy, but really should we feel sorry for someone who doesn’t even know if he is divorced or not? Is someone’s marital status part of the “smaller” stuff?

So, how do we know for sure? For once, this answer is simple: obtain the certified divorce decree. Do not rely on what someone told you; just get the document. Every person who is divorced should retain a copy of this decree. If they do not have it, make sure they obtain a copy from the appropriate clerk of court.

A party’s divorce has a multitude of ramifications on these individuals’ rights and obligations. In a domestic context, upon divorce both sides’ rights to equitable distribution and alimony are lost unless preserved. Divorce can change someone’s ability to inherit, your responsibility for medical expenses, your tax filing status, ability to remarry, and many more substantial rights and obligations.

It is important to know if your client is divorced or not. As you begin your representation, ask the client to bring in proof of the divorce if any steps in your representation rely on marital status or the availability of any results would change if the person were married. For once in our world, something is simple . . . just bring in the proof.

Well, maybe it’s not that simple, but I will address the proof and validity of divorces (particularly the common foreign divorce) in the next post . . . .

News attorney, attorneys, conflict in divorce, divorce, family law, family law attorney, NC divorce, nc north raleigh divorce, raleigh divorce lawyer, Wake county, Wake County domestic attorney, wake county family law

One of the most common questions I am asked, as a divorce lawyer is when am I separated? The factual scenario generally presented to me is the following: My wife and I have been having problems for years. About three months ago, I moved into the downstairs bedroom. Are we separated?

No.

I must say that I love it when the answers are simple. In family law, the answers are rarely that simple, so I am glad when I can answer in a definitive fashion.

In 1962, the Supreme Court of North Carolina answered that question in Richardson (257 NC 1962). Likewise, cessation of sexual relations does not constitute a separation. The only way to separate in North Carolina is to live in two separate residences.

In North Carolina, you must be separated for a full year before either party can file for divorce. Be careful because a “full year” means that if you separate on December 1, 2010, you can file for divorce on December 2, 2011. You cannot file on December 1. If you file a day early, that mistake cannot be cured. Meaning that if you file early, you have to dismiss your action and refile the action, which is just not the kind of pain that you want at this point.

If you have questions about whether or not you are separated, please contact our office. Our firm is experienced with divorce litigation and providing you the knowledge, experience, and personal attention at the time you need it most.

News attorney, divorce, divorce and separation, divorce lawyer, family law, family law attorney, NC divorce, nc north raleigh divorce, north raleigh divorce, raleigh divorce lawyer, Wake County divorce, wake county family law

NC Law Blog is an online legal magazine by and for North Carolina lawyers. It is sponsored by the North Carolina Bar Association Center for Practice Management. The mastermind behind this blog is Erik Mazzone who helps lawyers learn how to run a law firm, which is NOT something we are taught in law school.

Recently, I began writing for the NC Law Blog (www.nclawblog.com). I say “recent” but I believe I have been contributing for about three or four months.

Generally my posts related to family law; however, the blog covers all aspects of NC law. Most of the authors have years of experience in his or her respective legal field. It is an interesting collection of information for attorneys and non-attorneys.

As I sit here typing up my submission for this month, I wanted to highlight this great resource. In the future, I will start reposting some of my blogs from this blog; however, I encourage everyone to check out this interesting and helpful resource.

News attorney, attorney customer service, attorneys, family law, family law attorney, nc north raleigh divorce, raleigh divorce lawyer, Wake County divorce, wake county family law

Most breakups have a degree of hurt feelings, anger, and drama. Do you want your attorney to make these issues better or worse?

Yes, it feels good to know that your spouse was given a hard time for something that he or she did, but ultimately, does that get you any closer to your goals? Does it help you pay the bills? Does it help your kids?

As attorneys we are to zealously represent our clients, and you need to decide what that means to you. At our law firm, it means that we help our clients reach their goals in the most cost effective manner possible with consideration given to the client’s future. We do consider ourselves peacemakers, not pot stirrers.

Sometimes peacemakers cannot achieve peace, and the case must go to court. Does that mean we take a nuclear approach? No, we don’t. Quite frankly, most judges do not even appreciate that kind of approach. We get our job done in a respectful manner because that is the best way for our client to achieve their goals and embrace their new future.

News attorney, divorce, family law attorney, peace in divorce