Be warned that my opinion is NOT the opinion of the North Carolina State Bar. I can have an opinion, but let’s face it, my opinion carries little weight. At the end of the day, only the State Bar or a Judge can levy sanctions or decide your fate. Before you answer any question of this nature, you should review the ethical rules and call the State Bar to obtain guidance.

Now, back to my opinion . . . if a client asks you if he should edit his past social media, I would suggest that you talk to him about the Virginia case and any other cases you can locate on the issue. I would not tell the client to destroy anything. I would also advise him about the doctrine of spoliation of evidence and discuss steps he should take to preserve evidence. A client may be frustrated that you are not “helping” him out, and the client may even fire you as an attorney. Consider that firing a blessing as you do not want to choose your client’s goals over your ethical obligations.

When I talk to my client about social media, I address future behaviors.  I believe that unless there is some type of smoking gun on these types of forums, a client can explain any previous questionable behaviors. For example, if a client tweeted that her husband is “a tool of a parent” because he “puts his Wh*re first over their son,” I would have the client testify that she was mad and spouted off thoughts without thinking.  I would also have her testify about how she has learned that is not appropriate behavior, etc. Asking for forgiveness can go a long way especially if there is not a lengthy history of these actions.

For most lawyers, social media is the next frontier. When we start in a new frontier, some lawyers can be flippant about the significance of the area. Being flippant in this area could cost you as it did in the attorney in the Lester case.

Why?

A phone call or appointment may take more of the attorney’s time as a conversation could develop on a topic that was not in line with your original list of questions or concerns. This time is not necessarily wasted as you or your attorney may find out information that assists in your representation; however, if your goal was to find out an answer to a specific question, you may not view this additional time as cost effective.

Some people shy away from using email because they believe it is easier just to meet or talk over the phone. The reality is that composing an email makes you compose your thoughts. Being organized and focused in your time with an attorney means that you will receive more for your dollar. Emails also have the added benefit of giving you a response that you can refer to on more than one occasion. If you are not sure exactly what was said, you can always pull the email back up and review the answer again.

Email is not always the best way to communicate; however we encourage clients to use that as one of their first methods of contact with the attorney. If you are not sure, let the attorney decide if it is best for you to speak about the issue or if email correspondence will suffice. Likewise, if you do not feel comfortable memorializing certain things in an email to the attorney, call the office and schedule an appointment. The most cost effective way may not always be the best way. Work with your attorney and their staff to determine the best way.

At Frye Law Offices, we offer you knowledge experience and personal attention at a time when you need it most. Contact our office if you need help with your family law needs and want someone to be cost effective in their representation.

When you arrive to our office either Chris or Cindy will greet you.  She will get you settled in one of our conference rooms.  Once you are seated, she will go over our Client Intake Form with you.  This form gives our office information such as addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, and dates of birth.  After the intake form is complete, she will process the payment for the appointment and ask if you have brought any documents with you that you would like your attorney to review.  If you do, she will make copies of the documents for the attorney’s review.

Chris or Cindy will then bring your file to the assigned attorney, who will review your file briefly before coming in to meet with you.  During the meeting with either Ms. Frye or Ms. Bruce, they will go into greater detail of your situation and what your goals are.  After the consultation, you will receive a business card with the attorney that you have met.  If you have a question a few days after your appointment, our attorneys are happy to answer them via email at no additional charge.

At Frye Law Offices, we pride ourselves on having an amazing support staff. Clients have always told us that our staff has been professional, empathetic, and effective. From the first moment you contact our firm, you will find the knowledge, experience and personal attention at the time when you need it most. Please call us at 919.846.8807.

**Written by Christine Universal

You have taken the first step and have reached out to Frye Law Offices, what can you expect now?   When you call in you can expect to speak with either Chris or Cindy, both are legal assistants with our firm.

The first question you can expect to be asked is your name and the name of the opposing party or any other parties involved in your situation.  We have had clients call in and not want to give us this information; this information is vital in determining if we have any conflicts of interest.

Once it is determined that there are no conflicts, the next step will be hearing about the initial details of your situation.  During your first phone call you can expect to be asked a fair number of questions about what is causing you to call our firm.  Our staff needs to be thorough and get as much information from you as possible so that your time with Katherine Frye or Lynn Bruce is as effective as possible.  Please remember that any information discussed with either of our two legal assistants will be in confidence, meaning the only person they will discuss your situation with is the attorney with whom you are scheduling an appointment.

Once the information is gathered an appointment will be set up with the Katherine or Lynn. Our staff will provide you directions and ask for a secure email address so that we can send you some initial information prior to your appointment.

At Frye Law Offices, we pride ourselves on having an amazing support staff. Clients have always told us that our staff has been professional, empathetic, and effective. From the first moment you contact our firm, you will find the knowledge, experience and personal attention at the time when you need it most. Please call us at 919.846.8807.

**Contributed by FLO Office Manager, Christine Universal

I must say that this is a new step to me. I have often had clients obtain information from the other party’s Facebook or other social media source; however, I have never thought of asking the other side to turn over his or her passwords so that I could have full access to the account and account history.

Generally, when cases are in the discovery phase, which means the information finding part of litigation, parties are asked to turn over material that responds to the divorce request. For example, a party may be asked to turn over all audio recordings that he/she has of the other party. In financial cases, bank statements are often provided, not access codes for online banking! The request in this case was to turn over a different type of information, which is very interesting.

Maybe with this different type of medium (social media), Judges will take a different look at what is required to be turned over as part of the discovery process. I cannot predict the future on where social media and divorce will go, but this case is just another reason why I tell my clients that he/she should just sign off social media for the duration of litigation.

The first question you can expect to be asked is your name and the name of the other person involved (spouse, girl friend, former spouse, etc) or any other parties involved in your situation.

We have had clients call in and not want to give us this information; however, this information is vital in determining if we have any conflicts that would prohibit the firm from assisting you.

Once it is determined that there are no conflicts, the next step will be getting details of your situation.  During your first phone call you can expect to be asked a good number of questions about your current situation.  The person on the other end of the phone is not being nosy; they are just doing their job.  They need to be thorough and get as much information from you as possible so that the attorney has some background on your situation prior to the first meeting.

Hopefully, the person will be interested in what you are saying and not trying to do three other tasks while on the phone with you.  Remember this first phone call is a two-way street. Do you like the person on the phone? Does this sound like the type of person you would like to speak with on a regular basis? Realistically, you could be talking to this person quite frequently, so make sure you feel comfortable with this person.

Once the information is gathered, and you feel comfortable with the person on the other end of the phone, an appointment will be set up with an attorney. The person should make sure that you understand the cost, length of time for the meeting, location of the appointment, etc. You will undoubtedly have a great deal of legal questions, but this person cannot (and should not) answer your legal questions.

At Frye Law Offices, we pride ourselves on having an amazing support staff. Clients have always told us that our staff has been professional, empathetic, and effective. From the first moment you contact our firm, you will experience the knowledge, experience and personal attention you need.

If you feel that our firm can help you, please give us a call at 919.846.8807.

**Written by FLO Office Manager, Christine Universal**

If you or your spouse have a claim for spousal support from the other or a claim for the property/debt of the marriage to be divided, it is imperative that you be careful in your pursuit of a divorce. In North Carolina, claims for spousal support and property division (aka equitable distribution) are LOST upon the entry of your divorce. These claims are lost unless one of you has filed a claim for either of these items. If you have, either in the divorce action or in a separate action, your right to pursue these claims is preserved for further disposition by the Court. If you have not, these claims are lost and gone forever.

Property and spousal support claims are generally the most significant rights I detail to clients when a party is considering a divorce filing; however, there are other rights or benefits of marriage that are dissolved upon the entry of divorce. Other significant ones are rights to inherit or administer the estate of your spouse and the right or obligation of the other spouse to provide you (or be liable to a hospital for) medically necessary expenses.

Divorce really does change everything, so it is important not to rush into filing for divorce until you or your client are sure that everything else is in good shape regarding the ending of the marriage. It is better to be safe than sorry . . . . .

Let’s go to the next step and suppose that your client or your “former” spouse hands you a divorce decree from the Bahamas for example. Well, you have a decree, so you should be ok, right? Well, no, it’s not that simple.

Generally, North Carolina will recognize foreign divorces so long as the following basic requirements are met: (1) both sides were provided adequate notice, and (2) one of the parties was a resident of the foreign country/state at the time. In my scenario above, you first need to determine if these criteria were met before you start checking the “single” box on documents.

I often see situations where someone decides to go down to the Caribbean, for example, and obtain a divorce while they are also on a vacation. Although admittedly, this is convenient, that scenario is a problem. If you are on a vacation, you are not a resident of that state or country, so you do not obtain the benefits of that location. Besides the Caribbean, I have also been asked about someone obtaining a quick divorce in another state. Again the same rules apply.

For further research, I discovered that the U.S. State Department has a information available on their website titled “Divorce Abroad,” which is quite a helpful place to start. The link is as follows: http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/divorce/divorce_592.html

Remember that trying to short the divorce requirements can have a detrimental impact on you and/or your client. When you receive a foreign divorce decree, be sure to take a few extra steps to make sure it is valid. Nothing is worse than finding out that your client is not divorced . . . and thus not remarried just a week before a custody trial. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Now that I have covered the topic of the validity of a divorce, I will turn to why it matters if someone is divorced or not by an examination of the rights lost upon divorce.

When clients say they are divorced, why should we believe that statement? Recently Lawyer’s Weekly ran an article about a guy who thought his first wife had obtained the divorced, so he decided to remarry . . . in another county. Later he plans to bring his “wife” back to the US and apply for citizenship for her based on wife status. Well, low and behold, wife had never really finalized that divorce, so new “wife” wasn’t wife at all.  The downside is that now he has huge set of problems, which are not going to be easy to remedy. The article is written in a manner to evoke sympathy for this guy, but really should we feel sorry for someone who doesn’t even know if he is divorced or not? Is someone’s marital status part of the “smaller” stuff?

So, how do we know for sure? For once, this answer is simple: obtain the certified divorce decree. Do not rely on what someone told you; just get the document. Every person who is divorced should retain a copy of this decree. If they do not have it, make sure they obtain a copy from the appropriate clerk of court.

A party’s divorce has a multitude of ramifications on these individuals’ rights and obligations. In a domestic context, upon divorce both sides’ rights to equitable distribution and alimony are lost unless preserved. Divorce can change someone’s ability to inherit, your responsibility for medical expenses, your tax filing status, ability to remarry, and many more substantial rights and obligations.

It is important to know if your client is divorced or not. As you begin your representation, ask the client to bring in proof of the divorce if any steps in your representation rely on marital status or the availability of any results would change if the person were married. For once in our world, something is simple . . . just bring in the proof.

Well, maybe it’s not that simple, but I will address the proof and validity of divorces (particularly the common foreign divorce) in the next post . . . .

No.

I must say that I love it when the answers are simple. In family law, the answers are rarely that simple, so I am glad when I can answer in a definitive fashion.

In 1962, the Supreme Court of North Carolina answered that question in Richardson (257 NC 1962). Likewise, cessation of sexual relations does not constitute a separation. The only way to separate in North Carolina is to live in two separate residences.

In North Carolina, you must be separated for a full year before either party can file for divorce. Be careful because a “full year” means that if you separate on December 1, 2010, you can file for divorce on December 2, 2011. You cannot file on December 1. If you file a day early, that mistake cannot be cured. Meaning that if you file early, you have to dismiss your action and refile the action, which is just not the kind of pain that you want at this point.

If you have questions about whether or not you are separated, please contact our office. Our firm is experienced with divorce litigation and providing you the knowledge, experience, and personal attention at the time you need it most.