Part 4 in a series about options for client’s in divorce when the money runs low . . .

Q.  But you don’t understand!  I just want my case over with!  I want it done.  I don’t want to be in court any more, and I definitely don’t want a “do-it-yourself” solution.

A.  Well, the final option that we could discuss is called the Quick Conclusion Option.

Q.  How does the Quick Conclusion Option work?

A.  When there are sufficient funds in the account (and we’re not talking about only $1,000!), then the firm can try – and the emphasis is on TRY – to get the other side to agree to a quick settlement of the outstanding issues.

Q.  OK – tell me more.  It sounds simple and easy!

A.  It can be relatively easy if there is only one issue on the table, such as a motion for increased visitation.  Whether you’re asking for it or resisting it, there are probably some compromises, which can be worked out.  We’ve learned that it’s a lot easier if both of the parties meet at the same time (but not necessarily in the same room) to work things out and to print and sign a settlement, whether it’s an amendment to the separation agreement or a consent order for the judge.

The next post will cover the complications of this option . . .

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Part 3 of a series on what client’s options are when the money runs low during a divorce . . .

Q.  Well, let’s talk about other options.  My account has at least $5,000 in it.  Can’t we see if there are ways that I can get some help from the firm, but not at the “full-bore” litigation rate?

A.  Yes, there’s another way that the firm could help by withdrawing from the litigation case and then helping you “on the sidelines.”  This might be called the Coaching Option.

Q.  How does the Coaching Option work?

A.  Once we’re “off the case” (no longer appearing as your attorney of record in the litigation), we can assist by providing you information on how you can handle the case yourself.  For example, we can -

• Advise on responding to motions that the other side files
• Suggest ways to obtain information (such as documents) from the other side through a “document request”
• Tell you what to do when the other side serves interrogatories on you, demanding that you reply with the answers under oath
• Give you information on how to conduct a hearing or trial
• Outline the questions you might want to serve as interrogatories on the other side
• Provide information on what to do if the other side refuses to answer your questions or turn over documents
• Give you advice on what the law requires and how the courts operate, especially regarding the Local Rules for Wake County, which have extensive requirements for disclosure of documents and production of information in financial cases.

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Part 2 of a series on what clients can do when the money runs low in a divorce . . .

Q.  What if there are no liquid assets lying around – just a house, the land and the furniture and vehicles.  There’s just too much case for the money!  I’m down to my last $1,000 in the law firm trust account.  I have no credit cards and I can’t get a loan.

A.  In that case, the option that most of our clients choose is a consent for the firm’s withdrawal.  This might be called the Clean Break Option, since it allows you to let our firm go before the account goes into the red; the last thing you need is to be owing money to one more person or business.

Q.  Please explain about the Clean Break Option.  What does withdrawal involve?

A.  In a case which is not in litigation – one that’s only at the negotiation stage, with no lawsuit filed – then you can write to your attorney and instruct him to stop work on the case and that you no longer wish to employ him to assist you on your case.  That’s all it takes.  If, on the other hand, you have a case which is pending in the courts, you’ll need to sign a withdrawal consent, so that your attorney can file a motion to withdraw.  The withdrawal consent merely states that you agree with the attorney’s petitioning the court for withdrawal.  The withdrawal is complete upon the judge’s signing an order allowing withdrawal.

Q.  Are there any complicating factors?

A.  Here are two:

• If the motion to withdraw is done shortly before the trial, the judge might not allow withdrawal since it’s so “late in the game.”
• And – of course – one big complicating factor is that you’ll be representing yourself from now on.  This can be a very unpleasant experience if you have skilled counsel on the other side.  Judges are not permitted to “help you out” when you have no attorney.  A pro se litigant – one with no attorney – is treated the same as one with an attorney.

Q.  Can’t the firm keep working on my case?  I know that I’ll eventually get some money!

A.  While some firms may extend credit to their clients, that’s not our practice.  As a small firm, we have to rely on every case paying its own way to allow our employees, creditors and landlord to be paid each month.  Even one case falling behind can create problems.  Lawyers are not permitted to tell their clients that we will continue to work on the case although the client has no funds left.  How would you feel if your boss told you to keep working every day, but your paycheck would not be there for a couple of weeks (or months)?  The lawyer’s responsibility is to work hard, completely and diligently for the client.  The client’s responsibility is to cooperate in preparing the case, in providing funds, and in locating witnesses.  Both sides – attorney and client – have to meet their respective obligations.  We ordinarily expect that our trust account balance for each client will have sufficient funds for at least two months’ anticipated work.

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Divorce is costly. There is no doubt about it. At the end of the day, you are going to end up with a lot less than you started with. Plus, you would have spent several thousands on an attorney to guide you through your divorce.

Recently, a colleague shared with me a handout he has provided his clients who ask for guidance on how to proceed in the case when the funds are running low. I will post this handout on our website, but I also wanted to provide the handout as part of a series of blog posts.

When Money Runs Low:

Options for Our Clients

Q.  HELP!  I’m not even near the end of my case, but I’m at the end of my money!  My mom says that she won’t finance my divorce case any more, and I have no money of my own – my husband took it all.

A.  First of all, before we talk about letting the law firm withdraw or other options – let’s see if there’s really no money.  Are there any credit cards, which are available?  Other family members who might help out?  Funds in the house equity, which can be “pulled out” through a refinance or a home equity line?

Q.  But if I try to get money out of the house equity, won’t my spouse have to sign?  Can the court order him to do so?  Are there other options?

A.  Sometimes the court can enter an order for “interim allocation.”  This would free up some of your marital funds when they’re in the hands of the other side.  You first locate funds, which are marital.  That means, in general, that they were earned during the marriage, such as a savings account, investments (stocks, bonds, mutual funds), CD’s, or – if you’re willing to take a hit on taxes and penalties – retirement assets (e.g., 401(k) account, IRA).  Equity in the home might also qualify.  Next, you file a motion for interim distribution, asking that the court award you all or part of the asset containing the money.  Then you calendar a hearing and, once the case is called, you make your case.  If the judge grants the relief you’ve requested, then you’ll be able to spend your own money, not your mother’s, on your divorce case.  Of course, the judge will require that you be credited with those funds when the final hearing on property division (or settlement) takes place.  In effect, you’ve just gotten “an advance” on your final settlement.

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Mondays are always hectic around the office, but I was greeted with a very kind note from a client today. This note reminded me that the way my firm conducts its business does matter.

“I wanted to send you a note to thank you and your staff for the outstanding service you have provided me . . through this stressful and difficult divorce. . . I am confident that with your leadership we will come out of this with an outcome that is as desirable as one can get in these situations. I know I express my frustration with the cost of it all, but I know that you are doing your best to manage the expenses and still getting me the level of representation I need to come out with desirable results.”

Those comments are indicative of the type of service we strive to provide every person who enters this law office.  Our office provides knowledge, experience and personal attention at a time when you need it most.

News, Testimonials

If you are married, you have the right to see your spouse if he or she is in the hospital.  Did you know, however, that gay partners were not allowed to see their partners in the hospitals? Routinely same sex or opposite sex partners were banned from contact with their partner if that person was incapacitated in some manner. I cannot fathom a worst time to learn that you cannot be with your spouse/partner.

On April 15, 2010, the following document was issued by the Obama administration: Memorandum to Secretary of Health and Human Services: Respecting the Rights of Hospital Patients to Receive Visitors and to Designate Surrogate Decision Makers for Medical Emergencies. President Obama mandated that any hospital that receives Medicare or Medicaid funding (basically all hospitals) extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians. (Applies to opposite sex partners as well.)

As I am preparing for a talk in September on the rights of unmarried individuals in N.C., I’m finding all sorts of interests tidbits. I will continue to pass them on so that you can discuss amongst yourselves.

News

In Marion County, Indiana that is exactly what the government offered to people who were behind on their child support. During the month long amnesty event, the government offices even opened on the weekends to make deal with people to get back on track with their child support obligations.

It’s an interesting idea. I don’t know that this has been tried here in any local counties, but I would suggest that it is not a bad idea. Yes, it sounds nice to say that someone is going to go to jail for not supporting their child. It shoulds like justice, right? Well, how does being in jail help the child who is entitled to support? If someone is willing to offer a repayment plan and get back on track, that may just be a better option than putting them in jail.

Keep in mind the option of jail is always there if the people do not live up to the plans of repayment that are established. Congrats to Marion county for trying something to collect money for the children!

News

The heat is upon us in Raleigh, N.C., which is a wonderful reminder that summer is here!

It is also a gentle reminder to plan your summer vacation. With summer vacation planning, you need to pull out your child custody order or your parenting agreement. Be sure to review it to see what is required for vacations. Often there is a required notice period to give the other parent. Since those notice periods can vary, it’s good to take a look at it now and plan accordingly.

If you find that you have missed the deadline for notice or that you want to plan something that would not follow the agreement you have in place, call the other parent and see if you can agree on the change. If an agreement is reached, just be sure to send an email memorializing your agreement.

If you get a call from the other parent about making a change, remember that parenting is a two-way street. You may need a favor soon . . . not to mention don’t you want your child to have a fun vacation during the summer?

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Most breakups have a degree of hurt feelings, anger, and drama. Do you want your attorney to make these issues better or worse?

Yes, it feels good to know that your spouse was given a hard time for something that he or she did, but ultimately, does that get you any closer to your goals? Does it help you pay the bills? Does it help your kids?

As attorneys we are to zealously represent our clients, and you need to decide what that means to you. At our law firm, it means that we help our clients reach their goals in the most cost effective manner possible with consideration given to the client’s future. We do consider ourselves peacemakers, not pot stirrers.

Sometimes peacemakers cannot achieve peace, and the case must go to court. Does that mean we take a nuclear approach? No, we don’t. Quite frankly, most judges do not even appreciate that kind of approach. We get our job done in a respectful manner because that is the best way for our client to achieve their goals and embrace their new future.

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Most children experience considerable distress in the early stages of a break-up; however, a child’s long term adjustment to a break-up can vary. One factor that can help is the parent being in touch with the child’s feelings during the process.

The American Psychological Association’s 2009 Stress in America Survey reveals that parents (including but not limited to divorcing parents) frequently do not know what their children feel.

If parents’ are not in touch with their children’s feelings, how are they going to know how they are coping in the break-up? Children experience most of the same feelings that parents do during a break-up–fear, sadness, anger. As parents we are all asked to do a lot, and during a break-up, it takes a concerted effort to be in touch with how your child is feeling.

The thought that children are innately resilient and that their age alone enables them to bounce back easily from tough situation is just a myth. Parents need to be sure that they are not reading their emotions as their children’s, and the more you can protect your children from the conflict, continue quality parenting, and find out how your children feel.

Remember–your children did not choose to break-up.

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