Are children resilient after divorce?
Most children experience considerable distress in the early stages of a break-up; however, a child’s long term adjustment to a break-up can vary. One factor that can help is the parent being in touch with the child’s feelings during the process.
The American Psychological Association’s 2009 Stress in America Survey reveals that parents (including but not limited to divorcing parents) frequently do not know what their children feel.
If parents’ are not in touch with their children’s feelings, how are they going to know how they are coping in the break-up? Children experience most of the same feelings that parents do during a break-up–fear, sadness, anger. As parents we are all asked to do a lot, and during a break-up, it takes a concerted effort to be in touch with how your child is feeling.
The thought that children are innately resilient and that their age alone enables them to bounce back easily from tough situation is just a myth. Parents need to be sure that they are not reading their emotions as their children’s, and the more you can protect your children from the conflict, continue quality parenting, and find out how your children feel.
Remember–your children did not choose to break-up.
